James Potter sat sprawled under a big tree in the Transfiguration Courtyard. He was looking dolefully over at Lily Evans, having been turned down- again. He heaved a great sigh, when suddenly-
   "Ah, quit moping, won't you, mate?"
   A voice sounded from above James' head, and he looked up quickly to see Sirius Black smirking at him from a high up branch. James yelped as Sirius jumped down, showering him with twigs.
   "Nice knowing I have privacy," said James ruefully, rubbing a spot on his head where a particularly large twig had hit him.
   "Honestly, Prongs, you're being right pathetic. You aren't going about it the right way, girls don't like arrogant 'toerags'," proclaimed Sirius with the air of one who had much experience in the subject. "Don't talk yourself up, just act like you don't care about her one way or the other. Be rude. Be indifferent. She'll be jealous, trust me- she'll be begging you for a date in a week."
   James snorted. "Yeah, and I should believe you, because you so obviously have a steady girlfriend. Oh, wait-" he looked around with mock surprise- "you don't."
   Sirius just grinned. "That's 'cos I don't need one. Just watch the expert at work." He sauntered over to a group of girls, who immediately turned to stare at him, starry eyed. "Hey, McKinnon," he tossed over his shoulder as he walked past her. "Nice hat." Marlene McKinnon blushed furiously and giggled.
   Sirius shot James a look that plainly said, "See how it's done?" as he walked back over to the tree.
   James glared at him. "Alright, Padfoot," he conceded, "you might be right."
   Sirius looked smug. "'Course I am. So give it a shot, then, Prongs."
   James ran a hand through his already messy hair and stood up. He started walking, before doubling right back and saying, "Or, maybe you could come with me. I look like a dork, walking by myself."
   Sirius smirked and said, "C'mon, James, you don't need to walk alone to look like a dork."
   James just shot him another dirty look and walked back in the direction of Lily Evans. She glanced up at him, clearly expecting some sort of witty pick up line. She looked rather affronted when he offered none and simply walked off without a second look. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so astonished.


   Over the next few days, James continued to ignore Lily, even going so far as being rather rude. He bumped into her in the corridor, shoved in front of her in line and gave her smug looks whenever she spared him a glance. On the whole, the strategy seemed to be working rather well.
   "Potter, could I have a word?" asked Lily in a very unfriendly way after he'd crashed into her again and 'forgotten' to apologise.
   Or not.
   James gulped a little and followed Lily into the empty classroom.
   "Potter, what are you playing at? I thought you'd be different, especially after you asked me out all those times. Or was that just a ploy to make me look stupid?" She looked rather hurt.
   James was fairly confused at this point. "I- what?"
   "Oh, stop pretending like you don't know what I mean!" she huffed, trying to look impatient but clearly close to tears. "You're just being mean to me because I'm a Muggle born, aren't you?"
   James was now extremely disconcerted, and rather outraged with this unfounded accusation. "What? No! No, absolutely not, you've got me all wrong! What, just because I'm a pureblood everything I do is because I'm prejudiced? That's biased!"
   Lily looked a little bewildered. "But then why are you being so… rude?" She stopped abruptly, noticing the tomato red state of James' face. "James?"
James was doing his best to look anywhere but directly at her. He mumbled something about needing to talk to Sirius, and beetled off.


   "Great, that's just fantastic, mate. She thinks I'm prejudiced against her because she's Muggle born. Have you ever heard anything so friggin' ridiculous in your life? This is all your fault."
   Sirius held up his hands in a motion of surrender. "Okay, so that particular strategy didn't work out so well. There's more where that came from."
   James shrugged angrily. "Not so sure I want to hear more about this from you, mate."
   "Just hear me out, this one's almost guaranteed to work. So when being indifferent fails, you go the opposite route. Be a gentleman."
   James stared at Sirius. "Who the ruddy hell are you and what've you done with my best friend?"
   "Haha, very funny. But I'm serious. Don't-" Sirius warned as James opened his mouth to say something- "use that "I know you're Sirius" joke, it's getting old. Anyway, this strategy's a winner. Open doors, pick up books, pull out chairs- whatever. Girls eat that stuff up."
   James shrugged. "Alright, I'll give it a shot… It had just better work."


   "Here, Lily, allow me." James pulled open the door and ushered a rather flustered Lily into the Charms classroom before letting himself in and allowing the door to slam on some other, rather irritated students. He pulled out a chair and bowed her into it, offering a winning smile. He got a strange 'what do you think you're doing' look back.
   Professor Flitwick coughed, and said, "Yes, thank you, Mr. Potter… Kindly find your seat now that Miss. Evans is all settled into her chair." Lily turned beet red.
James smiled and said, "Yes, sir." He clambered into his own chair, turning around to wink at Lily. She looked daggers at him. Confused, he turned around again, mulling over the strange and mysterious ways in which girls' minds worked.
   He paid almost no attention to Flitwick as he explained the charm to make objects attack someone. I wonder what I did wrong, he thought, I was a gentleman, wasn't I? He gasped as he was suddenly bombarded with tiny canaries.
   "You see, class, Oppugno is a very useful combat spell, especially when partnered with Avis, which…" Flitwick trailed off meaningfully, waving his arm for someone to continue.
   "...is the spell to create tiny birds," finished Lily, shooting James a triumphant look as though she planned to use the spell on him sometime soon.


   "What are you playing at?!" hissed Lily as James opened the door for her again at the end of class. "Honestly, Potter, stop being such a slimy scumbag!"
   James blinked, completely bemused. "But I-" He stopped as she shot him a poisonous glare and stalked off.
   "She's a complete nutter, that one." A voice sounded behind James and he didn't have to ask who it was.
   "Any more clever ideas, Sirius?" he asked sarcastically, without even bothering to turn around.
   "Honestly, I'm stumped. Never seen one quite like her." Sirius scratched his head, looking indeed stuck for ideas.
   "Brilliant. Just brilliant." James stomped all the way to the Gryffindor common room, snapping at a first year for giggling at him.
   "Anything the matter, James?" asked a mild voice as James, not watching where he was going, tripped over the portrait entrance and sprawled onto the rug.
   "Oh, nothing's wrong, Moony! Absolutely nothing! No, I'm completely, totally fine. Why do you ask?" growled James crankily, collapsing into a chair.
   "You seem a little distracted," observed Remus Lupin as he looked over the top of his book. Getting no response from James, he turned to Sirius.
   "James is crushing on a nutcase and none of my strategies are working on her," grumbled Sirius, clearly almost as upset as James at the failure of his 'fail safe' plans.
   "Strategies?" inquired Remus. "Why don't you just be nice to her? Be yourself, but, you know, don't be an arrogant toerag like you usually are. No offence."
   "Why is everyone calling me that?" wondered James.
   "Be nice? No offence, Moony, but you're kind of a novice in the subject. No one is just… nice." Sirius scoffed.
   Remus raised his eyebrows. "Yes, but seeing as you, the expert," he emphasised the word rather sarcastically, "can't seem to figure it out, maybe James should give my suggestion a shot."
   James and Sirius exchanged a glance. "You know, Moony could be right," admitted James. "Maybe if I don't try any fancy gimmicks, Lily won't think I'm such an-" he winced- "arrogant toerag."
   "On your own head be it," shrugged Sirius. "Hey- Moony. Five Galleons says it doesn't work."
   James snorted. "C'mon, Padfoot, Moony's the good boy, he doesn't bet…"
   Remus laughed. "You're on, Sirius."
   James just looked on, open-mouthed.


   "Um, hi, Lily," James offered awkwardly as he passed her in the hall. Lily looked at him, nodded once and continued on her way. James sighed and kept walking to Tranfiguration.
   "Now then, class, we are still working on our teapots. Almost none of you have managed to Transfigure them into satisfactory tortoises yet, so we will continue that today. Ah, Potter!" Professor McGonagall stopped at James' desk and looked appraisingly at his teapot. "You're almost there! Good work, Potter, five points to Gryffindor… But then, you've always been rather a talent in Transfiguration." She swept away, looking rather pleased. James grinned, he'd always been a favourite of McGonagall- and that came in pretty handy, sometimes…
   Lily Evans swore loudly as her teapot smashed to the ground. Hastily, she pointed her wand at it and muttered, "Reparo." Prodding her wand at the teapot, she succeeded only in knocking it over again. She looked around, flushing.
   James winced. "Here, do you want some help?" Lily had never been very good at Transfiguration, although she was certainly brilliant in Charms.
   Lily looked him up and down. "All right," she accepted, albeit reluctantly. James' heart leaped in his chest and he moved his chair over. "Move your wand like this, see?" he demonstrated, and to his delight, the teapot became significantly more tortoise shaped.
   Lily looked jealously at the tortoise shaped teapot. She waved her wand again, and the 'tortoise' began to whistle loudly. She dropped her head to her desk, moaning. James looked around helplessly, not knowing what to do. He patted her awkwardly on the back before attempting a Silencing charm on the annoying tortoise-pot. It became shriller.
   Without looking up from the desk, Lily murmured "Silencio," and the tortoise-pot shut up. James looked at her, rather awestruck at her lack of effort. She looked at him before bursting into peals of laughter.
   James was rather taken aback at this sudden light-hearted behaviour. Lily calmed down and wiped her eyes. "You're not so bad after all, Potter," she said, grinning at him. "Mind giving me some more help in Transfiguration?"
   James grinned back. "Sure, if you help me with Charms."
   Lily held out her hand, and James shook it. "Deal."
   Across the room, a smug Remus held out his own hand to Sirius, who reluctantly handed over five Galleons. "Okay, fine, Moony. You win," he muttered grumpily.